Sleep Apnea making feel like I lost all hope
41 years of age , had cpap for about a year, never got into a routine despite trying , recently having constant problems with machine and mask warping - mandibular device doesn't make any difference - I have had enough , Im barely able to do a days work , boring work that I hate and i just feeling like im going to doze off , I have to go and sleep in my car at work for an hour everyday - Ive got no reason to live , my life has fallen apart over the last 10 years
Hi @24hrtired,
I didn't want to scroll past your post without saying something.
Being that exhausted for years grinds you down, and it's hard to think clearly about anything when you've had no real rest. Sleeping in your car just to get through a shift sounds grim.
The part about planning ways to end things worries me. Please ring Samaritans on 116 123. free, any time, and you don't have to be at breaking point to call.
One practical thing: a year on CPAP without it ever clicking usually means the setup is wrong, not you. Masks warping and machine problems aren't normal. Go back to your sleep clinic (or your GP if the clinic's gone quiet) and say plainly that it isn't working and the mandibular device hasn't helped either, a different mask, a pressure review, or a fresh look at what else might be going on are all still on the table.
None of that undoes the last ten years, but you're not out of options, even if it feels that way. Please talk to someone today.
Thank you for participating in this conversation. Your plea to @24hrtired to reach out to talk to someone is so on point. In the UK, another way to reach Samaratitans is https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/ or this one: https://spuk.org.uk/national-suicide-prevention-helpline . How long have you been dealing with sleep apnea? I'm glad you are part of our community. All the best, Kathy (Team member)
I live in the UK , even if I do get used to cpap and start to feel better il be 42 or 43 , it robbed me of my 20s and 30s , I'm already planning ways to end my life anyway I've given up if got nothing left to live for
Hello once again. I am so sorry to hear you are going through all this. Many have come here to share how a chronic illness makes you feel robbed of parts of your life, and it’s understandable you feel that way given what you’re describing. Do you have anyone in your life that you can reach out to to talk through what you have on your mind?
If no one comes to mind, many people do find support through resources like (in the UK) Samaritans https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/ or this one: https://spuk.org.uk/national-suicide-prevention-helpline . Other options are to reach out to your GP out-of-hours service, or call 111 for an emergency. You deserve good help, and are going through a lot right now. I hope you can find someone to talk to - either a loved one or someone through one of these resources today. Warmly, Kathy (Team member)
@24hrtired I am so sorry you are feeling so exhausted and discouraged. Sleep apnea can be a complicated and overwhelming condition. Living with a chronic illness is about more than just physical symptoms. It also impacts how you think, feel, and act. For both patients and the people who care for them, mental health is a vital part of daily life. Have you considered talking to a mental health professional who can work with you to process how sleep apnea is impacting you? Your mention of suicide is seriously concerning, especially as you are facing the chronic stress of a medical condition. If you are in crisis, call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (or visit https://988lifeline.org/). We care. Please let us know how you are doing. All the best, Kathy (Team membe
