Why My Mental Health Is Paramount

My first introduction to mental health would have been when I was 5 or 6 years old. My parents had enrolled my older sister and me in a youth group counseling program that focused on addiction. This is my story of how I learned to cope growing up with addiction, anxiety, and trauma in order to manage my mental health challenges and sleep apnea.

Growing up around addiction

My mom is an alcoholic and a mean drunk. So, in order to escape her when she was a mean drunk, my dad started going to the casino. Aside from a couple of bars, it was the only thing open at night in the small town that we lived in. Unfortunately, my dad started to become addicted to gambling.

Yepp,... both my parents have the addiction gene and they couldn’t stand the other's addiction.

Dealing with parents and separation anxiety

My parents separated and as a result, my mom, 2 sisters, and I moved to another province to go live in my grandma’s basement. My dad ended up moving to the same province but 5 hours away over a couple of mountains.

This would have been a great time for my mom to send us to therapy but she is a narcissist and only thought of herself. The moves ended up being a traumatizing event and I developed separation anxiety, something I still battle today.

Battling worry and fear

My grandma’s house was less than 400 meters away from a halfway house. This fact lead to the beginning of never feeling safe and struggling with so much worry and fear, another thing I am still battling today.

My exposure to multiple traumas

Then a series of scary life-altering events happened over the span of 8 years. I experienced multiple traumas that included a mass murder that could be seen from my backyard; my younger sister developing Sjogren’s syndrome at 5 years old; a next-door neighbor being tossed out a window; her boyfriend in a drunken rage tried to shoot her; my mom almost dying twice due to Crohn’s disease; my older sister fleeing responsibility to end up in an abusive relationship; and getting kicked out of home and ending up homeless for 2 and one-half months as a result.

Struggles with my health

While struggling with my own health issues, I had to be a nurse to both my mom and younger sister. I was also a mom to my mom and 2 sisters. I ended up developing endometriosis at 13, which meant agonizing periods, massive PMS, and an extremely heavy period.

Even though my Grandma still lived in the same town as us, she never helped out. It was all on me.

Finding unexpected support at the right time

After struggling for 1 year with my older sister being gone and trying to juggle way more than what a 16-year-old should have to, I became suicidal. Thankfully, on the day that I had decided to end it all, a friend of mine called out of the blue. He had been away in his first year of college so we hadn’t spoken in 5 months.

I caved and told him my thoughts. I was exhausted from all the pain and fear. I’m grateful that he was able to talk me out of it and help me understand that things may not end up being as bad as I fear.

Taking care of my mental health

My life has had many challenges and hardships since then, but the 1 thing that is different from back then is that I take care of my mental health now. Living with multiple diseases, including obstructive sleep apnea (OSA) has made it a challenge to get the restful sleep that my body needs. As a result, I practice self-care all day long, every day.

I know that not getting enough sleep really can take its toll on my mental health so I really try to be as mindful as possible for the sake of my mental health. That means being aware of how I am feeling and why I feel the way I do.

And, if I end up experiencing something stressful, I make sure I do the bigger self-care things in my toolbelt – like going for a milkshake and dancing it out at home.

Do you struggle living with mental health challenges and sleep apnea too? Please share a comment.