Preferences of a Sleep Tech (Part 1): Beards, Caffeine, and More

If you’ve read my sleep articles, you know I write from a healthcare perspective. As any healthcare worker knows, there’s a need to be constantly adapting since many situations are different, as well as the patients we see.

This principle is true when working with people, but even with all that being said, I still have my preferences.

Though all these preferences are true for me, this article is supposed to be comical in nature. I think you would be wise to follow my preferences since I think most sleep techs would carry the same preferences, and if you make your sleep tech happy, they might go the extra mile for you.

The dreaded beard

There’s nothing worse than seeing the dreaded beard. I understand the beard might go well with his face, but all I can think about is the leak it will create while wearing a CPAP mask. Believe me, I know all the reasons why you shouldn’t shave.

You’ve been working on that beard for months.

“If I shave my beard, my family won’t recognize me."

"I’d rather die than shave my beard.”

To be clear, you don’t need to shave your beard to wear CPAP. But typically, the mask does seal if you do, and besides, this is about me and my preferences! :)

Hold the caffeine!

My second preference is no caffeine. To be blunt, the main point of a sleep study is to test for sleep apnea. In order to diagnose sleep apnea, we need the patient to sleep.

Call me old school if you want, but I think caffeine affects most people at some level, so I find it utterly ridiculous when patients come in carrying every item possible to stay in the sleep lab for a week, including a 48 oz Mountain Dew from the Flying J.

The last thing I want to deal with all night is a restless patient tearing off wires and using the bathroom every 2 hours. Admittedly, I do enforce this preference, although in a much calmer way than described here.

Please arrive sober!

Please, please come to the sleep lab sober. I don’t think this is too much to ask, and admittedly this rarely happens. Here are a couple of legit reasons why showing up to a sleep lab drunk isn’t beneficial.

Number one, being drunk can worsen sleep apnea, causing the results to be inaccurate. Second, typically drunk people fall asleep quicker, but their sleep becomes fragmented after the first few hours. I may have picked up on this from my high school and college days – but enough about that.

Directly asked, directly answered

I understand some patients love to talk, and they will have plenty of time to do so during the hook-up. But sometimes, when I ask a direct question, I need a direct answer.

I remember asking a patient if she drove (to warn about driving when excessively sleepy). She started talking, and 5 minutes later, she still hadn’t answered my question, and then she said, “Now, what was your question again?”

What do you think? Are my preferences out of bounds? Can you relate to me? For more preferences, check out part 2 of this series and please feel free to add your comments below.