Dealing With the 'L' Word

People can be hurtful. It's a basic fact of life, unfortunately. It's frustrating to be accused of something you don't have much control over. When you have sleep apnea – especially if you don't know you have it – battling fatigue can be a hard task.

You think, oh, maybe I need to just sleep more at night. (I mean, technically, yes. But if you don't know you have it, you need to fix it first.) Or maybe I should exercise more, or eat better. While all these things can help, if you still feel the effects, it can be hard for other people to understand.

People called me lazy

You didn't choose to have sleep apnea. It wasn't something you won at a carnival game and decided to bring home. It can be hard for people who haven't experienced health issues to be sympathetic to someone trying to cope with them.

Growing up, I was tired a LOT. I don't really remember the fatigue hitting until I was in middle school. I was called lazy and was told a lot of hurtful things. I did have other medical issues that made me feel tired, but the sleep apnea definitely contributed.

But I didn't know that. I was a kid and being told that it was my fault and my choices that made me this way hurt a lot. That wasn't factual. Now that I'm an adult and I KNOW what is going on with my body, I can try to make better decisions to help go in the right direction to make it feel better. But it's a process, and not everyone has the same journey.

What to do if you feel misunderstood

It can be hard to ignore the hurtful words, but if you can, try to surround yourself with people who get it. Communities like this one or in-person support groups are great if that's your thing. Understandably it's not for everyone, and if that's the case, doing research on your own can be enlightening.

Find books written by people who have or are going through what you are. Watch seminars, Listen to podcasts. Chances are, other people have spoken out about their experiences and relating to another person can be really helpful to feel that you're not alone.

When I feel misunderstood, I like to do things that make me happy. Hobbies that are monotonous but keep my mind busy, like cross-stitching, are fun. Or reading books, cooking, learning a new skill, or even just taking a walk and having a nice picnic can do wonders.

Do other people understand your sleep apnea?

I think it's important to remember that not everything is in your realm of control. Do what you can. Try to make healthy choices but don't beat yourself up over the things that are harder for you. Try not to listen to the negative Nancies who know nothing about what they're talking about.

Do you find that you are misunderstood a lot? Or is it something that others around you can understand? If you are, what are some of the things you do to help yourself cope?