Hypertension and the Power of Denial

There have been many articles in this community about the link between sleep apnea and various other health conditions. "Symptoms of Sleep Apnea" is a great article that lists several complications. Hypertension is 1 of the conditions on this list. This is my experience with hypertension and denial with my sleep apnea.

The problem with my hypertension diagnosis: me

I have obstructive sleep apnea and have been diagnosed with hypertension commonly referred to as high blood pressure. My road to that second diagnosis was problematic, and the problem was me.

To be honest, I'd been having problems for some time but was able to rationalize away my issues and symptoms. The power of denial never ceases to amaze me!

Making excuses for progressing symptoms

Looking back, I can see that my now obvious symptoms started during the pandemic and got progressively worse. You can have hypertension and no symptoms, but in my case, I was having some and ignoring/explaining them away.

I was also denying my symptoms to my doctor because I was sure I knew what was going on. I was aware that my blood pressure had been creeping up over the past several years. Then we all went into lockdown, which meant that I had a great excuse for everything I was experiencing.

Like many things, none of my symptoms were that bad at first. However, as my hypertension was not being treated, more symptoms started to roll in over the following year. Yet, I kept on denying anything was amiss.

Ignoring the signs

The doctor would ask me questions like, was I having any issues with shortness of breath? Yes, but who doesn’t while wearing a mask? Was I having shortness of breath when at home and not wearing a mask? No, but then I wasn’t doing anything but sitting around.

I knew I had no energy. I was short of breath at times, even when I didn’t have the mask on. I was having headaches and issues with my vision. I was feeling anxious, and at times I felt like my heart was racing.

All of these were signs I should not have ignored – but I did.

Using denial to justify my symptoms

Let’s start with the denial of the last 2 items first.

Anxiety

I have a history of anxiety and we were in the middle of a pandemic, so that was causing those issues, right? Heart racing? Well, that's common when you have anxiety or a panic attack, so I explained it away.

Headaches

Headaches? I was under a lot of stress, and I have allergies so that was that.

Breathing

Shortness of breath? Like many, I had gained weight and been sitting around not exercising. I was sure that was the cause.

Fatigue

Extreme fatigue eventually started, but I figured it was due to stress, weight gain, and probably my obstructive sleep apnea.

Since I have severe obstructive sleep apnea, I figured I probably needed to have my PAP pressure adjusted. (Not that I made any effort to get that checked either.)

Vision

I work at a computer all day and was overdue to have my vision checked, so any blurry vision was probably due to the need to get my prescription for my glasses updated.

At my doctor's office with a case of denial

So there I was sitting in the doctor’s office. I didn't feel very good, but I was heavily in denial and was trying to ignore it. I was just there for a simple routine checkup.

The assistant checked me in, took me back to the exam room, and took my blood pressure. “Are you okay? You seem a bit short of breath.” Me: "I’m fine. I raced up here because I was running late.” (Actually, I had to take a break on my way up from the car as I was too tired and short of breath.)

She left and very quickly my doctor came in. He asked me the same question, and I gave him the same answer. He again checked my blood pressure. He started to ask me some other questions, but I was short of breath and could not answer him very well. I figured (and actually said) that my asthma was acting up.

Long story short, my blood pressure was 180/90. The fact that I didn’t have a stroke is a miracle if you ask me.

So many warning signs and I just rationalized them all away!

What is normal blood pressure?

If you are unaware, according to the National Institutes of Health, normal blood pressure is less than 120 over less than 80 mm Hg.¹

What hypertension and denial with sleep apnea taught me

My advice: Don’t think you know what is going on and rationalize your symptoms. Tell your doctor and be honest. What may seem like minor things could be much more when you put them all together – you know, like a doctor is trained to do.

Have you ever been in denial about your health symptoms?

Please share your story or comment below.