Why I Consider Myself a CPAP Junkie

My husband got diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea. He got his CPAP machine the other day.

That evening, he “practiced” wearing it while he watched TV. Now, while I go and sit in the same room, I don't usually watch TV (although I do enjoy listening). I'm usually doing things like cruising around on my laptop or knitting – you know, stuff like that.

I am still waiting for my replacement CPAP

Anyway, I found myself looking over at him with a feeling of almost jealousy! Or maybe it was longing, like I lost my best friend! I know this really sounds weird, doesn't it?

In my other articles, I have talked about not being able to use my CPAP machine. Because of the noxious gas it's giving off, I am still waiting on my replacement.

Feeling jealous of my husband's new CPAP machine

My husband took his machine and placed it on his nightstand. He got it all ready for going to bed. He brought his reservoir into the kitchen. While he was getting the gallon of distilled water, he asked me, “Do you know how to open the reservoir?" because he was having trouble.

When he started talking I jumped, a little startled. I was lost in my own thoughts, thinking, "How dare you use my bottle of distilled water. That's for my machine!!"

As if it mattered because my machine does not work right now and the money that we pay for everything comes out of the same account! Hello, Sally, we only have 1 checking account between us and we go to the store every week!! The funny thing is, if you knew me, you'd know I don't think/act that way. But let's face it, that was for my fix, not his!

After we got into bed, I still found myself looking at him on and off. Again, with that feeling somewhere between jealousy and I-just-want-my-best-friend-back.

Reflecting on my attachment to CPAP therapy

But an hour after we got into bed, my husband was sound asleep enjoying his new CPAP machine.

I was still lying there trying to figure out how I could use his CPAP machine! Lying there for like 2 hours, I realized I was just a little too deeply attached to my CPAP. Finally, I got tired enough and just nodded off to sleep. Yay!!

In the morning, my husband got up, took his CPAP mask off, then went back to sleep for about an hour. Later that morning, I got up. He told me he had taken it off because he couldn't get comfortable. The noise it was making was keeping him awake. There again my first thoughts were, "Well, I would have put it on!!"

Why I consider myself a CPAP junkie

We had gone to bed and my husband was really having some issues with the seal on his face mask. I tried snuggling up closer with him. There is no other way to explain it except that I was trying to get a hit of that air from his CPAP mask!

I didn't care how comfortable he was or how much whistling from the mask not sealing properly. By golly, I wanted to hit that air with that pressure behind it! Now if that's not a CPAP junkie, I don't know what is!